


Five First Times

by Xekstrin



Category: Tales of Symphonia
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2017-12-30
Packaged: 2019-02-24 05:08:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13206633
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Xekstrin/pseuds/Xekstrin
Summary: The winds shifted and Sheena stood unsteadily against the currents, trying to stand still when everything around her constantly changed.





	Five First Times

**Author's Note:**

> Written for one of my patreon patrons.

**First time sleeping in the same bed**

 

"I'll take the floor."

Lloyd announced it in a voice deeper than usual, his arms crossed so that his thumbs framed his puffed out chest. In an instant, Sheena perceived a few things:

This was an issue of him being a gentleman. Or perhaps just a man in general, a test of his mettle.

It was also a chance to show off how tough he was, that the hard wooden floors wouldn't bother him. That perhaps he didn't even need sleep at all, that he would proudly sit at the door and keep vigil overnight to protect her.

"Shush."

Sheena threw a pillow at his head, forcing him to catch it.

"I'll take one set of blankets and you take the others. Just keep your hands to yourself we won't have a problem."

That tough exterior deflated in an instant, replaced with confusion. "Why would I touch you while we're sleeping?"

"Why would--"

She expected him to crack a joke. But he just stared at her, perplexed, and what should have remained subtext was brutally brought to the forefront of her mind.  _ Why would he touch me?  _ She thought. _ Why  _ wouldn't _ he touch me? Or does he mean in general? Wait, he touches me all the time. Does he not get it or is he trying to tell me something? _

The tips of her ears turned red.

"Oh," Lloyd said, clapping a palm to his forehead. "You mean like no kicking or punching in my sleep." He grew more severe again, frowning in distaste. "Listen, I don't know what Genis told you, but that was  _ one time _ ."

Despite the current turmoil in her head, there was no way she was letting that little nugget slip by. "You punched Genis in your sleep?"

"It was when we were trying to catch up with Colette's group," Lloyd explained, kicking off his boots. He fluffed up the pillow in his hands and leaped onto the bed, landing on it and wriggling until he was comfortable. "In the Triat Desert it gets super cold at night. So Genis and I snuggled up in one of the bedrolls."

Sheena sat down next to him, carefully stroking the top of his spiky head. Lloyd sighed, relaxing even more. "That's kind of cute."

"It's just what we do! Genis is like my brother... I never realized it might be weird until we left Iselia." Scooting closer, he curled around her slightly. "Sometimes my dad and I slept in the same bed, too. After working hard at the forge, I was too tired to climb the steps to my room. So I just passed out there." 

His eyelids had started to flutter shut, every word coming out slower, more slurred. Then he twitched awake, remembering.

"Oh! I forgot to finish. Anyway, Genis and I were asleep together and in the middle of the night I had a nightmare and I just--!" Lloyd punched out, making a noise of impact with his mouth to symbolize flesh hitting flesh.

Sheena winced.

"But I won't do that again," Lloyd promised her. "I'll face the other way and we'll use different blankets. Okay?"

"Okay," she said softly, but by then he had already fallen asleep with his arm slung over her waist. Knocked out cold, he instinctively curled tighter around her when she tried to leave.

_ So typical, _ she thought, returning the embrace and holding his head to her chest.

  
  


**  
** **First time she knew she loved him**

 

There were many firsts. Somehow, each one struck her with the same amount of shock, of confused pleasure. Delight, or harrowing uncertainty. The winds shifted and she stood unsteadily against the currents, trying to stand still when everything around her constantly changed. Constantly renewed itself. 

Constantly presented firsts.

There were times she knew, in her heart, that she loved him. But the idea was so alien to her, the sensation so obscure, that she didn't know it by its name.

Bravado and tenderness were his trademarks. Bold proclamations, given without thought but most importantly, without fear. Sheena had spent her whole life afraid, so seeing him just  _ live _ like that... that was when the feelings started.

Every time, her heart melted. Then some trouble presented itself, or she had to forget her emotions and become something cold and dangerous, had to be a warrior or a summoner. She reshaped her heart over and over again until she couldn't recognize it anymore. 

Still, it would fall apart at the sight of him. It ran through her fingers as she desperately tried to scoop it into something functional. But the molten heat pooled down and spread out, warming her from head to toe until no amount of smithing would ever reshape it. 

She was changed forever  _ and she didn't even know _ . That was the worst part, how it had been building for so long without her realizing. She didn't even know the name of what was happening to her, couldn't recognize the symptoms. There was no defense against it.

The smallest, gentlest, most fragile gesture made it all crack in half.

"Be careful."

He said it so soft that only she could hear. One hand on her waist, the other brushing her long bangs out of her eyes.

"Please don't push yourself too hard."

Sheena looked into his eyes, then, and was knocked breathless with how much she loved him.

Years after their first meeting, she could finally name the beast that chased and nipped her heels, that made her act without thinking, that made her follow him into the depths of the abyss.

She'd given up her whole world for him.

He held it in his two work-rough hands, cradled in his palms.

Treasuring it, and her, with a steady smile and unending trust.

  
  
  


  
**First date**

 

There was no time for leisure after their victory. Too many lives still hung in the balance. 

At least, that's what she tried to tell herself.

"Come on!"

Lloyd gave her no other warning before taking her hand and dragging her from his father's house, a pair of fishing poles slung over his shoulder. She had no time to protest. Then they were out in the middle of a lake, on a boat he borrowed from a neighbor, and he was opening up a little tin of bait.

"Are you seriously taking me fishing?"

He dropped a wide-brimmed hat on top of her head. "Yes."

Then he settled back, flicked out the line, and waited.

Her experience with fishing was a lot more... rigorous than this. Casting nets and throwing spears. Endless labor went into feeding the village, and it was a communal effort. As much importance was given to the catching as there was to the cooking, as there was to the mending and the ship repairs. They worked together, all greater than the sum of their parts.

Sitting still and _ doing nothing  _ wasn't really in her skillset.

Her mind ran rampant with everything they ought to be doing instead. There were still reconstruction efforts to lead. The merging of the worlds was neither cohesive nor pretty. There were casualties, there were properties destroyed. Nothing overlapped entirely, but things were often squished together uncomfortably.

Which makes as much sense as anything about having two worlds, she figured.

"Do you hear that?" Lloyd asked her.

She strained her ears, hearing nothing except cicadas in the distance. Hazy and constant, in her youth she'd thought the sound of screaming bugs was just the sound of sunlight hitting trees, that unbearable heat held its own dissonance. 

"Nothing except the wilderness."

"I know," Lloyd said, lifting up his hat a bit to look at her properly. "Isn't it nice and peaceful?"

He let a hand drop over the edge of the boat, fingers dipping into the crystal clear water.

"I missed this so much," he said. "I used to think it was so boring. Dad would always get sunburnt, and we'd never catch any fish. But for months and months, for a long time there, this is all I could think about. Some days I think the promise of going home and fishing with dad was the only thing that kept me going. Pretty stupid, huh?"

He got a little tug on his line, and eagerly sat up. The two of them reeled it in, curious to see what he had caught.

A boot. 

Sheena tossed it back into the lake with disgust.

"It's not stupid." She's suddenly grateful for the hat, ever since Lloyd mentioned getting sunburned. "I know we were holding onto some lofty ideals. But you know, having time to be together, to have fun... that's part of being free, and safe I guess. So really, we _were_ fighting for a chance to go fishing."

"Are you having fun?" he wanted to know, genuinely.

Not exactly. But when she realized the truth of what he said, and sat still just to enjoy the silence... "Let's say I understand why you took me here." 

She settled her feet under her legs, sitting closer to him.

"We have to find balance in this new world. If we don't pause to appreciate it, we won't ever get to enjoy the fruits of our labor."

"I just wanted to go on a fun fishing date with you," he admitted, and his line began to twitch again. Violently, this time.

She wanted to pause, to register what he had just said. But the whole boat is moving now, rocking with the strength of whatever was on the end of the line. "Whoa." She stood up, leaning over to see what might be floundering in the depths. Then she set a hand on his shoulder. "Hold on, I think this might be a big one!"

Lloyd grunts, suddenly bracing two feet on the edge of the boat. "Oh, damn! You're not kidding!"

"Tire it out, Lloyd! You can do it!" Sheena punched the air, shouting encouragement as Lloyd swore and twisted, trying to catch the fish.

"Sheena! Cut... cut the line!" he suddenly said, sweat pouring down his face. "This is way too much for--"

They both screamed, the noise cut off suddenly as the boat flipped upside down and they were dragged into the lake. Blinking and trying to get her bearings underwater, Sheena glances around for Lloyd. In a stream of bubbles she saw him, coiled up in fishing line.

In a flash of steel, she cut him free and grabbed him by the collar, dragging him back to shore.

Gasping for air, she risked one last glance at the capsizing boat. In the water, she saw a huge shape, glistening scales and a silver fin slicing through the ripples before delving back into the deep.

"You were right, Lloyd," she said. "This was tons of fun."

He was too busy hacking up water to respond at first. "I can't tell if you're being sarcastic or not."

 

  
**First Kiss**   
  


They were pressed up together, tangled in a length of red ribbon. Genis should have known better than to leave them in charge of wrapping all the presents, but for a smart kid, he could be surprisingly short-sighted.

Sheena had a better sense of aesthetics and nicer handwriting. He was better with his hands, making papercraft and cutting shapes, packing every present nice and neat.

During the reconstruction, too many families were torn apart. Too many children were left without parents, or siblings, or... anyone. Cast adrift, they all found themselves in Luin. 

Leftovers from the church of Martel were struggling to find purpose in the wake of their own personal cataclysms.

It just made sense. They made the Home; new families were built.

A few days short of the anniversary of opening the Home, a few of Lloyd's friends volunteered their time and Gald towards the cause. Every child got at least one personalized present, and a letter from the victorious heroes. 

It was almost nostalgic, coming here. Especially for a pair of outcasts. 

"How did you even manage this," Sheena grumbled, tangled in the lengths of red ribbon. 

"I dropped it, I'm sorry!"

She gave up just to hug him, letting him know she wasn't mad. "Okay, we'll work our way out of this one knot at a time."

He agreed, returning the squeeze, thinking about how grateful he was for her patience, her compassion, her dedication to doing this right. To helping him with more than just war. Anyone else would have scolded him, he was sure. Anyone else would have balked at the very beginning. Anyone else would have chosen their world over their friends.

"Did you finish the last letter? To Susie? She wanted one from you in particular, so..."

He nodded, but she continued.

"Be sure you spelled her name right this time," Sheena had said, and he ducked down and kissed her.

She stiffened up, her grip on him tightening. For a moment he thought she might shift to throw him over her shoulder and send him flying. 

Instead she grabbed the back of his head, nails filing lightly through the fresh buzz at the nape of his neck. She pulled him closer. In the mess of ribbons, they were already off balance, and so they stumbled down to their knees together, straining to be closer.

He had to pull away first, with a startled gasp. "Um, yes. I'll finish the letter. To Susan."

"Susie," she said. "I'll spell check it, don't worry."

They were still holding on to each other. Through the silk of her robes, he could feel her pulse, hammering like it did in the middle of a fight. "Thanks."

When Genis bustled in with more presents to be wrapped, there was no way to escape the tangle of red ribbons. They tried anyway, instinctively trying to step apart only to be caught tighter by its binds.

"Oof! Watch where you're--"

They tumbled down to the floor, at Genis' feet.

He turned his gaze upward to heaven for patience, dropped the presents off, and left with his hands high in the air. "I'm not going to ask."

 

  
**First time he knew he wanted to marry her.**

  
  


No one had ever accused Lloyd of following the current. He was a product of struggle and violence, conceived in rebellion and raised outside society. Murder, bloodshed, war, and resistance were his inheritance from a mother who loved a fallen angel. 

He inherited her love, too. So much that it hurt. But even in that love, there was the spark of a fighter. Even in that love, there was pain. 

It spoke a lot to his character that he took it all into his swords and rose above it. That he refused to compromise on peace and reunification. That he struggled against impossible odds. That he rebelled against injustice. That he fought out of love, to protect, to shield, to rebuild.

Lloyd Irving did everything backwards.

Lloyd knew he wanted to marry Sheena before he knew anything else.

Of course everything about her made it easy to fall in love. In his opinion, she was the most beautiful creature he'd ever seen. She dove and rushed like a bird of prey, with brilliant colors and talons of steel.

Or, rather, paper of steel... sort of. 

That didn't make sense, and he told her flat out.

"I was surprised how you could fight with a piece of paper."

He admitted it during a break to cool their heels, after a long day of travel. Sheena stepped into his guard effortlessly, so quick he knew intuitively that if they had been fighting this would have been a killing blow.

Instead she tapped his exsphere with a fingernail.

"When dwarves create accessories, they carve charms into them, right?"

Her hand twitches, a row of cards suddenly fanning out. She kept them clutched tight between every finger, shutting the fan and then opening it again. When they fluttered next, they were all face-up. She did it a few times, shifting them this way and that until he saw.

Occasionally, when the sunlight hit them at just the right angle, he could see them: charms.

They were almost the same as the ones on his exsphere, but different. Just like when he saw Sheena, she looked much like other women he'd met-- except, not at all like  _ anyone _ he'd ever met. Her clothes were different, sure, but it was more how she carried herself. 

Excited now, he held his own hand, rubbing the gem with one thumb. "So if I take paper and carve charms onto them..." His imagination was already going wild with the possibility. Drawing on paper was way easier than crafting those intricate charms onto molten metal.

She shook her head. "It won't work. It's a secret art."

Lloyd tried hard not to pout, but it was a losing battle. "Even if I traced them exactly?" Sheena made a noise of agreement, and he sighed. "Darn."

Before they knew it, it was time to pack up camp and get moving again. They spoke in between pulling up tents and dousing fires, shoveling dirt into the pit to make sure the embers died. "If you really want to learn it, you could become one of us," Sheena said brightly, and again hope was ignited in him.

"How do I do that?"

The way Sheena froze up, her eyes going wide, made Lloyd think of an animal caught in a net.

She hesitated.

"Uh," she said, pale cheeks suddenly aflame. "Marrying."

Well, that made it all click for him. Smooth as a bowstring in an arrow notch, a cleaner picture than those puzzles Genis kept in his home. "Okay!" he said, already charging ahead with his usual determination. 

"What?" Sheena responded, doing a double take. 

"We just need to get married, right?" He rationalized. And why not? There was no one else he wanted to marry. Sheena was strong, and her heart was so big and so brave, and she was an excellent fighter, and she knew so many things he didn't. He thought he'd never meet another woman like her. He thought she was beautiful, unique, that he was privileged to be her friend.

Sheena had a little difficulty admitting the same, though he couldn't figure out why. Perhaps there was someone out there she really loved. Obviously you should marry the person you love over anyone else.

That was the second bolt of lightning.

_ Oh, _ he thought, looking at her stammering and faltering and making excuses, her hands fidgeting with the cards.

_ Oh, _ he thought again.

_ Oh. _

_ I love her. _


End file.
